Stop Looking For Validation. It's Ruining Your Self-Esteem...

We all have a human need to be loved and cared for by others. It’s natural to want to be loved by your family and friends. But you should stop looking for validation from them. Instead, seek validation only from yourself.

What other people think of your or your opinions doesn’t matter. Seriously.

You’re quick to seek what others think. But you’re slow to seek what you think.

Your opinion is the first and most important opinion you should listen to.

Even though we all have a human need to want attention, it doesn’t mean you should seek it in the form of validation. There are healthier ways to get attention…

Do things that inspire others. Make something. Learn something new and share it with others. Achieve. And so on…

Let your actions speak for themselves. You’ll get the attention you deserve from them.

You don't actually feel better after seeking validation from others.

Validation destroys you…

Validation destroys your confidence and self-esteem. It makes you rely on other people’s opinions for your own confidence and self-esteem.

These people’s opinions of you may or may not be their real opinions of you. They may lie to you to be “nice”. Or they may give condescending opinions that are a reflection of who they are on the inside.

People’s opinions of you are unreliable. They can change on a whim. One day, they may be in a good mood and view you favorably. The next day, they may be in a bad mood and get frustrated by you.

If you rely on other people’s opinions of you, then you’re dependent on them.

If you seek validation, then you’ll have low confidence and self-esteem. This will cause you to act in ways that aren’t in your best interest. You’ll destroy yourself and you won’t even realize it. You’ll feel anxious, depressed, hopeless, and out of control of your own life.

Looking for validation from others makes you look needy. It lowers people’s perceived value of you. And this will be reflected by how they treat you. Once you realize that they see you as low value, you’ll feel even more anxious, depressed, and so on.

It’s a downward spiral to a life that feels suffocating. Your happiness is held hostage by the emotions and intentions of others.

That’s not a good way to live.

Stop looking for validation from people who don’t even care about you

The truth is, most people don’t care about the things you seek validation from them. These people don’t care about the decisions you’re struggling to make. They don’t care about the things you’re insecure about. And they may not even truly care about you.

That’s right.

These people may not care about you.

Even if these people do care about, seeking validation from them is not a good idea.

It can be difficult to determine if people, even close friends and family, have your best interests at heart. Even if they do have your best interests at heart, they may not know how to communicate that to you.

They may give you well-intentioned advice that doesn’t work for you. This may also inadvertently sabotage your goals or plans, sending you down the wrong path. And they may also try to talk you out of what you think is best for you.

People tend to tell you what you want to hear. But not what you need to hear.

Instead of looking for validation, focus on yourself. Make decisions that are in your best interest. Seek help when needed. But see if you can figure it out for yourself first. Or use the internet to research how to solve your problems. Filter out information that’ll help you from the information that’s not in your best interest.

At the end of the day, the only person you can count on to have your best interests in mind is you.

Social media is ruining your self-esteem

Social media has undoubtedly had a big impact on society. You most likely spend time every day on some form of social media.

This time has an impact on you.

You spend countless hours scrolling and scrolling. You see a highlight reel of other people’s lives. You see everyone having fun, doing big things, and so on. But you feel like you’re not included. So you begin to feel envious, jealous, and depressed.

Keep in mind that social media is an illusion. You only see what people want you to see. These are typically the best parts of their lives and the things that they’re proud of. You don’t see the low points of their lives. And you don’t see the mundane, typical parts of their lives.

Yet you compare your life to their highlight reel… No wonder it destroys your self-esteem.

Social media isn’t an accurate portrayal of life.

So what should you do about your social media usage?

Reduce your time on social media. Or stop using it altogether.

See what happens.

You won’t regret it.

Be your own best friend

Instead of giving your self-esteem and confidence away to others, seek validation only from yourself.

Be your own best friend.

Do things that inspire you. Empower you. Push you. Build your confidence. Make you a better person. And so on.

Spend time alone.

Get to know yourself. Who you are. Where you want to go. Who you want to be. What you want to accomplish. What you enjoy doing.

And especially get to know what your thoughts are like.

Analyze your thoughts. Are they mostly positive? Or are they mostly negative? What are these thoughts about? Are they about your goals and interests? Are they focused on what other people are doing? And so on.

Answering these questions about your thoughts will help you decide what you need to do to improve. And it’ll get you one step closer to being your own best friend.

Seek your own approval of the things you do, but don’t delude yourself. If you feel guilt or shame for what you’ve done, then that would be an opportunity to reflect. Think about why you feel those emotions. What is the solution? If you should do something different, what should you do instead?

Your thoughts should work for you, not against you.

Life improves dramatically once you stop looking for validation

As you become your best friend, you’ll develop traits that’ll make you a better person. Your self-discipline and confidence will grow. The actions you take each and every day will compound on each other. They’ll build you up.

Building self-discipline will improve your life in many ways. You’ll be able to do hard things, even when you don’t feel like doing them. You’ll build courage that’ll allow you to act despite any fears you may have. This will empower you and boost your self-esteem even more.

A life without seeking validation is a life full of freedom and self-love.

Your life will get increasingly better once you stop looking for validation from others.