Never Pursue Self-Improvement for Someone Else. Here’s Why…

Photo by Omar Prestwich on Unsplash

Self-improvement is an individualistic journey. You have to carve your own path to reach your own goals. Swing your machete through the dense forest of trees and bushes. Take steps where no one else is stepping and leaving your muddy shoe prints along the way. And overcome any obstacles and dangers you may encounter. 

Self-improvement is a lonely journey. But it’s the most rewarding and fulfilling journey you can take.

Before you begin your journey, you must know why you’re pursuing self-improvement. Are you embarking on this journey for the right reasons? Or are you pursuing self-improvement for the wrong reasons?

But why do the reasons you pursue self-improvement matter? Because these reasons will determine whether or not you reap the benefits of the journey. The reasons you pursue self-improvement determine your happiness and fulfillment.

The idea for this blog came from a thought-provoking quote I found. Here’s the quote: “There's nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” ‒ Ernest Hemingway.

With this quote in mind, let’s talk about why you should only pursue self-improvement for your own benefit.

How to apply this quote to your life

This quote strikes at the core of self-improvement. Hemingway knew the importance of pursuing activities for your own benefit. And he knew the dangers of pursuing these activities for someone else’s benefit, to please them, or to become superior to them. 

Instead of focusing on being better than other people, focus on being better than your past self. Be a little bit better than you were yesterday.

Focusing on what other people are thinking and doing will make you miserable.

You'll be worried about what they're thinking about. Jealous of what they're doing. Or jealous they're not inviting you to do those things with them. You’ll be wrapped up in what they’re doing or thinking about all the time. It’ll drive you crazy doing things to get a reaction out of other people.

Don’t live this way. 

Instead, focus on your own life. 

Pursue self-improvement activities for your own benefit, not to beat someone else.  And especially don't pursue self-improvement to gain someone else's approval.

Do self-improvement for yourself.

It's your life. Not theirs.

You may not think that approval-seeking is bad. But it will ruin your happiness.

If you don’t believe me, then you can do this simple experiment. Look at any of the millions of people online who are seeking validation. It’s easy to find them…

Observe how they speak. What emotions do they elicit? 

Pay attention to what they talk about.  Do they talk about positive things? Or do they talk about negative things that drain your energy? 

Are they doing things they enjoy? Or are they hopping on trends and doing what’s popular? 

And how about the people bragging about being better than others? Do they seem happy? Or do they seem to be too focused on the people they think they’re better than?

Wrapping up

The point here is that if you pursue self-improvement to seek validation or to get a reaction from others, then you’ll suffer from chronic misery. Don’t pursue self-improvement in this way.

You have your own life to live. 

No one else should hold the keys to your happiness. 

Do self-improvement for your own benefit. And watch your life improve as a result.