Stop Wasting Your Time Living Someone Else’s Life

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Other people have a major influence on your life whether you realize it or not. Sometimes this influence is good. It’s good to have someone to bounce ideas off of or to get advice when you need help.

While other times the influence people have on you is not good. For instance, some people will go their entire lives living someone else's dream or vision of what their life should be like. They try to fit the mold someone else wants them to fit into. 

In other words, these people are people pleasers. These people live their lives trying to please someone else. This occurs for a variety of reasons, which are a topic for another day. What you need to know here is that people pleasing stems from being insecure, having low self-esteem, perfectionism, and past trauma.

Don't live the life of a people pleaser. People pleasing is not a good habit to have. People will control your mood, actions, and personality without even trying to. If you’re trying to please people all the time, then, your life will be shaped by the people you’re trying to please. You’ll have little control over your life. You gave that power away.

What you must remember…

Other people are not entitled to dictate how you live your life.

You must carve your own path. Live life the way YOU want to live. This is easier said than done, I know.

Sometimes you live someone's life and don't even realize it.

For example, some people get obsessed with a celebrity. They'll research every little detail about them. Follow all their social media pages, and so on. They get so wrapped up in what the celebrity is doing that they neglect what's going on in their own life.

This problem gets worse and worse the longer it persists. The longer you let other people control your life, the longer you will suffer. 

How to regain control of your life

You must set boundaries in your life. Boundaries are your limits. Invisible lines you don’t let others cross. For instance, a boundary you may make is not letting people touch you without asking first. Enforce these boundaries when they get crossed. Be clear and direct about your needs.

Anyways, you can start living life on your terms by reconnecting with yourself. Reconnecting with yourself allows you to know your needs and goals. These are crucial elements to know if you want to be in control of your life.

Here are some ways you can reconnect with yourself:

-Answer some self-reflection journal prompts

-Speak with a therapist

-Meditate

-Walk

-Explore nature

-Breathwork

Reconnect with yourself to figure out your goals. Discover what you want your life to be like. Think about the character traits you want to have. How does your best version of yourself behave? What do they do? What would you think of them if you had a conversation with them?

Once you get a clear picture of the version of you that is in control of your life, you can finally move on from letting other people waste your time. And then start pursuing this true version of yourself.