Stop Cringing at Your Past Self, Please!
Photo by Ben Hershey on Unsplash
We all make mistakes. They are inevitable.
It doesn't matter IF you make mistakes. What matters is how you respond to these mistakes.
Do you learn and grow because of them? Or do you ignore them and suffer the consequences?
Your answer to these two questions will tell you how your life is going right now. If you’ve learned from your mistakes, then you’ve made progress. If you ignored them, then you could be caught in a cycle of making the same mistakes over and over again, beating your head against the wall.
Many people say you should cringe at your past self if you’re pursuing self-improvement.
I disagree.
You shouldn’t be looking back on your past negatively. Here’s why:
What does “cringe” mean?
Cringe means to "recoil in distaste." it’s used to refer to a facial expression you make when something disgusts or embarrasses us. You make this facial expression involuntarily when you observe or think about things you consider cringe-worthy.
Why shouldn’t you cringe at your past self?
Yes, cringing is a mild form of disgust. It’s not as severe of a reaction to your past self compared to resentment.
But cringing at your past self isn't beneficial for you. It's a signal you may haven't fully forgiven yourself for the mistakes you made.
Should you want to be like your past self?
No... Most of the time.
But should you forgive yourself for how you were?
Yes.
Cringing at yourself makes it difficult for you to help others who are struggling with the things you once struggled with.
You'll want to help them, but you won't be able to give them the advice they need to hear. Your disappointment for your past self clouds your judgment. You’ll try to fix them or give advice that’s laced with regret and heartache.
How to move on
To forgive yourself, let go of your disappointment.
Acknowledge the growth you've made since you made those mistakes. Appreciate the newfound knowledge, wisdom, experience, and skills you've gained since then.
Your past self was just one of many stepping stones you'll cross on your way to your best self. You needed to make those mistakes to get to where you are now.
It’s all part of your life’s journey.
Reflect on how your life is going now. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
What brings you joy in life? How often do you do these things?
Are you happy?
Do you have any regrets? If so, what are they?
Have you forgiven yourself for your past mistakes?
Are you working to make your life better? If so, how?
What do you envision your best self to be like?
What characteristics of your best self do you already possess?
What are you grateful for?
These are just a few questions you can ask yourself. Use these questions to appreciate the good things you have in your life. Or use them as a wake-up call if you’re still holding onto negative feelings about your past mistakes.
Wrapping up
If you want to be happy in life, you can't look back on your past in disgust.
It's going to make you unhappy every time you think about it.
Let go and begin appreciating what you learned and gained from your past experiences.
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