Self-Improvement vs. Self-Destruction: The Battle for Your Life
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There are two basic paths in life that everyone takes. You can take the path to a better self, the path of self-improvement. Or you can take the path to a harmful life, the path of self-destruction. These two paths clash. They are arch-enemies. The battle of self-improvement vs. self-destruction is one that everyone faces at some point in their lives.
Winning this battle is the key to living the life you want to live. It determines whether your life is fulfilling or unfulfilling.
It’s a tough battle to fight, but you can win it. Winning this battle is liberating and fulfilling.
Let’s talk about what this battle is…
What is the battle of self-improvement vs. self-destruction?
The battle of self-improvement vs. self-destruction happens inside you. On the one hand, you have a desire to become the best version of yourself. And on the other hand, you seem to do things and think in ways that hold you back.
These two paths compete with one another for your attention. The path you choose dictates the lifestyle you’ll live. Your path also determines your fulfillment in life. If you choose to do things that build you up, then you’ll live a fulfilling life. And if you choose to do things that harm you, then your life will be unfulfilling.
You want to be your best self, but something keeps holding you back. You spin your wheels, making no progress. Why? Because while trying to improve yourself, you’re also engaging in self-destructive behaviors.
You cannot successfully go down both paths at the same time. The path of self-destruction will pull you off of the path of self-improvement. It pulls you down into a dark corner of suffering.
The person you want to be is battling the person who is holding you back. Both of these people are you. It creates a contradiction where you aren’t living up to the person you want to become.
This contradiction causes you pain. It destroys your confidence and self-esteem. It’s what causes you to think you aren’t good enough. This makes you believe that you’re never going to make it, which causes you to quit your self-improvement habits. Or even quit your self-improvement journey altogether.
Let’s take a deeper dive into what self-improvement and self-destruction are…
What is self-improvement?
Self-improvement is the improvement of your knowledge, character, status, and skills from your own effort. Your life becomes a journey to a better life.
The path of your life changes once you choose to invest your time and energy on self-improvement. You develop meaning for your life. Your daily actions and habits guide you to the person you want to be.
Your time becomes precious. You develop priorities because you want to maximize your time. There is no time for you to waste on things that don’t help you reach your goals. Your goals are too important.
Here are some self-improving behaviors:
Reading books
Lifting weights
Eating healthy
Going for a walk
Exercising
Developing a side hustle
Learning a new skill
Taking a new course
Meditating
Practicing gratitude
Journaling
Facing your fears
Commit yourself to self-improvement. Your life will transform to one filled with meaning.
What is self-destruction?
Self-destruction is the destruction of your character, status, and skills from your own actions. This most often comes in the form of sabotage. You often destroy yourself in subtle ways you aren’t even aware of. You undermine yourself with negative thoughts. And the habits you engage in are harmful, self-defeating, and cause pain. This pain can be both physical and psychological.
People who engage in self-destructive behaviors have a dysfunctional relationship with life. They believe something bad or toxic controls their life, so they try to keep this a deep, dark secret. Yet, pushing this relationship with life down only creates more problems. They manifest in psychological and physical problems. Both problems reduce the quality of their life.
Self-destruction keeps people from achieving their goals and dreams. It prevents them from becoming their best self.
Life doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to suffer because of your own choices. Your life can be better.
Self-destructive behaviors range in severity from mild all the way to fatal.
These behaviors include:
Binge eating
Excessive alcohol or drug use
Overeating or undereating
Excessive social media use
Binge-watching TV
Excessive gambling, gaming, shopping
Negative self-talk
Constant complaining
Self-defeating beliefs
Risky behaviors
For this blog post, self-destruction doesn’t include extreme behaviors. Extreme behaviors such as self-injury and suicide attempts need professional help to solve.
Consider seeking professional help to solve any self-destructive behaviors you have.
Why do people engage in self-destruction?
Self-destructive behaviors typically give an immediate reward… pleasure. This is called instant gratification. But this immediate pleasure is fake. You get a little bit of pleasure in the present moment. But it comes at a steep cost. You feel shame, regret, and suffering afterward. These negative feelings last far longer than the hit of pleasure.
There is also a rise in nihilism, which is taking over societal thought. This nihilism has convinced people that there is no purpose to life. It’s convinced people that their lives aren’t important. They're discouraged from trying to become their best selves. These nihilistic people don’t care that their actions have consequences. So, they turn to indulge in their instant pleasures.
It's easier than ever to cave into these false pleasures. Most grocery stores, convenience stores, gas stations, and so on provide these pleasures. Junk food. Alcohol. Video games. Cigarettes. Vape pens.
Instant pleasure is cheap and readily available.
Online shopping has brought every store across the world into your own home. With the tap of a screen, you can search for any product. It’s easy to shop for hours. Shopping online feels like you aren’t even spending any money. You don't have to physically pull out your wallet to pay. So, you don’t think about the consequence of your purchase.
Self-destruction is the path of avoiding responsibility. You throw your goals and dreams to the side (if you have them). You ignore your responsibilities, hoping someone else will take care of them. Or that the responsiblities don’t exist. Instead of facing your responsibilities, you chase cheap hits of pleasure. Your life revolves around chasing these pleasures, much like an addict. And then you feel bad for what you’ve done after. But you repeat the cycle, chasing the instant pleasures again and again.
How to win the battle of self-improvement vs. self-destruction?
To win the battle, engage in self-improvement. Invest your time and energy in your goals. Keep them in mind when the thought of engaging in self-destructive behaviors emerges. Realize that your goals and dreams are far more important. The perceived pleasure that these self-destructive behaviors give you isn't real. This fake pleasure always comes back to hurt you later.
Find things that improve your life and you enjoy doing. Build your character, skills, and knowledge. And work towards a higher purpose.
Make small changes that point you in the direction you want to go. Small improvements add up fast. They’ll help you build momentum towards winning the battle of self-improvement vs. self-destruction!
Resist the urge for perfectionism. Trying to be perfect will cause you to crash and burn. You will make mistakes or slip up from time to time. It’s normal… making mistakes is a part of being human. Don’t let that mistake snowball into a disaster. Get back on your path as quickly as you can.
Remember: One path builds you up. The other tears you apart. One path makes you feel fulfilled. The other makes you feel depressed.
Choose your path wisely.
References:
https://personalityspirituality.net/articles/the-michael-teachings/chief-features/self-destruction/
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-destructive-behavior
https://www.lifehack.org/819195/importance-of-self-improvement
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_95.htm
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-improvement
https://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2018/12/25/what-is-self-improvement/
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/42-practical-ways-to-improve-yourself.html